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~ So 1st of all I am not usually the type to put all my bussiness out there, but the frustration has gotten the best of me and I feel like I need a place to vent and talk and a place where others will understand where I am coming from. My name is Amber and I am 27 years old. I have been married to the most wonderful man for going on 4 years and we have been together for almost 5. From the moment we started dating we both knew we wanted kids and to have our own little family. We have been TTC off and on for the good part of our entire relationshipe. My husband has been tested and the Dr told him his boys are good to go, and back in 2005 I had abdominal lap surgery to rule out any issues with my tubes and such and again the Dr told us I was good to go. Of course there is always the frustration of not becoming pregnant which I am sure everyone here can relate to.

~ I was pregnant one time resulting of a bad night ( Iwas raped by a friend of my brothers) and chose to have an abortion. I often wonder if I am being punished b/c of that choice, but I know in my heart that God has a reason for taking me down that path. We have done the calendar, temp, and kits and still no luck. We gave up for awhile and I went on the pill to try and regulate my cycles and suprise suprise after we decided that we wanted to try again I came off the pill with my cycle regular and every month praying for that little miracle..again with no luck. So now we are officially trying again..I mean charting, ovulation kits the whole nine yards. My friends and family all tell us to be patient and just stop trying so hard, but all I want to do is tell them to shut up b/c its hard to not think about it or try so hard when you want baby so badly. I am due for my cycle on the 19th and we are buying the 1st response ovulation kit with the 20 sticks, so that we dont miss a fertiltle day. My husband feels like he is getting too old to have kids if we wait any longer and lets face it my clock is most defintly ticking..so I pray harder each and everyday for that little miracle....I am hopeing that by sharing my thoughts and feelings with this board that I will get the support I need right and now and can in turn be support for all of you..look forward to hearing from you....

*hugs*

oh babes i know what it feels like

i have been pretty much TTC since being married in July 04 !

like u i got preg while i was in college and had an abortion which makes me wonder if maybe that was my only chance and maybe the abortion did some damage...among other crazy thoughts which i am sure u have too!

i did the whole charting, temping, ovu kits, etc etc etc for a while but every mnth BFN BFN BFN AF AF AF so i just gave up doing all that

i am 32 now and just wana have a baby of my own .... i am sick of watching everyone around me get preg

i too have the all clear as does hubby

so we r unexplained unfertility....which sux...sometimes i wish something was wrong....at least when something is wrong u can bloody fix it or find another way....with nothing wrong all u seem 2 get is relax and keep trying

PM me anytime hun...i understand the pain and frustrations

xxxxxxx

Farheen

Richieswife and Fefe,
I hope you both get what you have been trying so long for. I can't say I know exactly what either of you is feeling but I do know neither of you is being 'punished' for your choice. I will light a candel for you both with a prayer that you will both be blessed with healthy, happy, living angels very soon.

Thanks for your kind words

yes its a hard hard journey for some of us...

its hard esp watching the people in your life have kids and a family when u r dying for one lil miracle of yr own

i was adopted so having this kid will mean a lot 2 me... it will be my 1st blood relative ever that i know of in this world...it will be a very special baby for me...and for so many years i have just been waiting